Where's the escalator at? A delusional journey towards Pinatubo

You want to go to where? Do you know how long that will take?

They said 2 hours.

At least 4 hours man, a 4 hour trek, and God knows how long to Pinatubo by car.

Hey man, it can't be a 4 hour trek. I was told it would be around 1 hour, and I could do that.

You'll need to wake up by 2:30AM to take the 3:00AM bus to Tarlac – stop at Capas Junction and be picked up by the 4x4.

Damn that's early... but I could do it.

Tell you what. I'll bet you that you can't get up there. Someone will have to take your picture once you get up there for proof.

Yea man, that's no problem. It can't be that hard right?

Geez, these guys don't think I can take a little jaunt up a volcano that smothered half the Philippines in ash over a decade ago.

Next day -

Damn, I'm already late. Get the hell out of my room and head for the Victory Liner terminal in Olongapo. The fuck, the Jeepney driver I got into isn't heauling ass. He's still waiting for a few more people to fill up the back seats.

I get off and trade in for another yellow jeepney - the other passengers get off also.

Was able to get on the bus to Tarlac and off we go! Zoooom! Zooom! Zoooom!

So I slept on the bus.

And I awake to find that I passed Capas Junction. Damn! Got off the bus and took a tricycle – 8 kilometers back to my destination – Mcdonalds.

So here we go! Get on the 4x4, and head off to Pinatubo. I'm gonna climb you sucka!

To say the ride to Pinatubo was mild would be a bloody lie. It was bumpy, jumpy and wet as we rode through dirt, rivers, lahar (ash), and rocky terrain. This was the fabled shortcut – through terrain that chafed your ass to the point of developing blisters in all the wrong places.

Yea boy! Finally going going to start the trek to Pinatubo! I was given a pathfinder, a ranger, a local, a guide rolled into one. Didn't talk much, probably because I didn't know Tagalog. But he knew his stuff.

We started..! And I had to quickly lean on a rock to take a rest. Damn he walks fast. Where the hell is the end? Damn this is freaking long. What's up with this bloody trail? Where the hell is the escalator?

Hu Hu Puff Hu Puff Wheeze Wheeze... Stop?! Again! I had to stop, this time I stopped at a scenic area. I took my camera and started to shoot this stone pagoda. There was a lot of these stone pagodas as we moved. My stop....That was a ruse... I wasn't going to show a local how out of shape I was, my flabby stomach and weak assed legs giving out on me. Hell no! I'm manning up!

Going to use my camera to my advantage and take photos I was planning on getting anyways.

Yea boy, I'm not taking a rest! I don't take rest, hah! I stop because I'm taking in the scenery with my camera. No excuse at all. Hell no. No sir! Not at all! Yea.... right. Delusions have a way of worming into my mind as I trudge ahead.

So yea, the sign at the parking lot said – 40 minute trek to Pinatubo. Right! 40 minutes!

Wait huh?! I just manned down, told the guide to stop.... again – can't... take... this trek... damn it's far. I should stop and turn back. Took a lot of pictures already.... damn it! I'm not going to lose that bet. Hell no.

I kept myself from asking if we're almost there. I'm not a kid at the backseat of the car asking my mom every few minutes if we're there yet.

I'm a man, and a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do!

What the? A group of European tourists just passed us by - a man, a woman and a kid. Damn!

Take your time damnit. Let me take in the scenery. The guide sees this everyday of his life. Let me take in the few hours that I have and live through the moment. Let me stop and let the environment sink into my brain and my camera. Tourists should be given the option of a slow 2-3 hour trek to take in the scenery.

The destination is only half the journey. The scenery on the way to Pinatubo is beautiful and deserves the time for people to take in – instead of looking down at the rocks as you try to avoid slipping or sliding on this rock or that wet rock.

Wha? What?! After climbing those stairs, I will see Pinatubo? Man, this better have been worth it. By this point, I'm wheezing, my legs are about to give out on me. Every few steps on the rock made stairs, I have to stop. This is getting really bad. My body that's been slaved to the office is so close to collapse over.... a 40 minute trek? I think it was closer to 2 hours to reach Pinatubo.

My eyes – they've been tasting my salty perspiration for a while now. My eye sight is getting really assed up. My glasses fogged from the salt, my camera's LCD looks shit. Everything looks hazy and underexposed. Man this is bad. I'll fix everything in post! Yea boy!

WOW Pinatubo! DAYMN! That's NICE! Shit, it was worth it to see that emerald green lake rocked by howling winds breaking its waves onto the rocks. Whoooosh!

From the lookout overlooking the lake, the winds push you hard as dirt hit your face like a billion ants stinging at your pores. It's that bad. The winds are strong up on the bluff. The is kinda funny. One moment, you don't feel it. Then all of a sudden, whoooosh! A big ice of wind blows at your direction, then it's gone. You meet silence.

Below, a small beach gives way. To the side, a pile of boats looks ready to be used by anyone. My Europeans are swimming in that clear emerald water on my right. Man they're fit. It probably took them less than 40 minutes to get to Pinatubo.

Man that's nice. The water is beautiful. I take in the sand as I lay down and listen to some jazz and blues.

I made it! Pinatubo reamed me all over my body, but I manned up! I got – you – blisters and all!

I won the damn bet! That's all that counts! I manned up, even though I have blisters all over my feet, and my ass. My muscles – all my muscles screamed at me.

I slept that night – a long beautiful sleep.

Historical Cebu 2006

Arrived at Cebu International Airport on Mactan island. Man. This airport is pretty lax in security. Once everyone from the plane left the airport, I was basically walking around looking for a taxi... all alone. No one in sight.

Well, the taxi people were visible... this felt pretty luxurious, a big difference from Nonoy International in Manila, where you have crowds waiting outside for family and friends.

...after getting settled in the hotel, I took a tour of historical Cebu. I only had a half day, and I was really tired from my Puerto Princessa trip. Took these photos before I crashed back at the hotel.


This is Magellan's cross. It's actually encased in a protective enclosure. Historically, people came to venerate the cross and took chips off it, believing that it had medicinal properties.

Forgot what this battleship of a statue was. It's basically a history of Catholic expansion and enslavement of the islands.

The Infanta encased in protective glass where people come and pray.

The four saints in front of the Church and convent of Santo Nino. As I was walking around, there was a school of little kids going to class with their moms.

By looking at all these pictures, it looks like I was on a religious pilgrimage. Well...these were the only pictures that actually turned out OK. Found myself by this Taoist temple.

Not much to say. The place was empty except for the guard at the gate and a few tourists taking pictures. Lao Tzu fishing. Yup... just needs a working water fountain, because theres' no freaking water, and there's no fish.

So yea, that's about it for Cebu. I didn't really take a lot of interesting pictures. What's cool about Cebu is that it's pretty clean. I noticed a lot of Koreans due to the English schools all over the city. Economic Free Trade zones were sprouting all over the place. Malls were just as big as their cousins in Manila.

It did feel... well, it felt more orderly than Manila.

A second take in Puerto Princessa

The capital of the island of Palawan. Shiz. Sounds like the name of a foreign country. The Most Serene Island Republic of Palawan. Eh! Eh? Visions of Venice just popped up, its history and its glory days, when all trade from the world led to its ports. What the.... getting back to my story of Puerto Princessa.

No comparison between Palawan and Venice, I'd take the sandy white beaches and clear emerald water in Palawan any day. So here I am in Puerto Princessa. Hanging out at the lobby outside my room. Waiting for the tour guide to pick up me for hours of island hopping!

Took this picture as I was sitting down on the comfortable couch. I stayed at a pension house, and it was really cheap. There is a restaurant on top of the roof, so you get a great of view the harbor and great food! Plus, it was cheap food! Cheap and good food.. oh yea! Well... cheap for foreigners anyways. A local might see it different.

And you will see foreigners. Met a Dutchman drinking a San Miguel as I was eating my breakfast, or was it dinner? Nice fellow. Drank a lot! Think he was on his 7th or 8th bottle. Didn't effect him one bit. Damn Europeans. Those guts are built for beer.

Here's a view of the harbor. It was pretty close to the pension house. Just a few minutes walk, and it was clean! Yea, that was a point for the harbor.

Yea, about the tour - it's the Honda Bay island hopping tour. It's cruising around 4 or 5 different pristine beaches, surrounded by clear still water. You could see straight through the water as your banka glides among the solitary waves. The banka is noisy, with its small little engine, but it got us to all the islands. Sweet.

Here you go - swoooooosh, as the banka takes flight!

I can't remember the names of the islands. One island was called Snake island because it was shaped as a snake. Pretty creative huh?

As lunch came, we ate some really good food. Yea, really good food. Should have taken pictures, but I was gorging on the stuff.

So after the island hopping tour, I took a a land tour of Puerto Princessa. Went to a butterfly place, a freakin live penal colony. Yea, a penal colony. Basically a jail but out in the countryside. They farm, grow their own food, and when their time is up, a lot of them stay in the area. Hell, it has great weather, and less crime than the big city of Manila.

The inmates sell trinkets to tourists really cheap. If you need to bring some crap from Palawan, get it from the penal colony. They use local material - shells, wood, etc, etc... and did I say it's bloody cheap? Plus, you have a great story to tell the folks at home where it's made!

Finally at the end of the tour, we came upon a bakery shop. I took a second look. Grinned. Laughed. Up yours Disney! Hahahahaaha! Check out the fine statues of Snow White and her seven dwarves. This place had tons of cartoon character statues.

It was hellya fun...!

There's also a mile long underground river that's pretty popular. Heard it's really good. You'd have to shoot me and drag my lifeless body to the boat to make do that. It's too confining for me personally.